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theonion: Parents Dedicate New College Safe Space In Honor Of Daughter Who Felt Weird In Class Once Addressing students at the dedication ceremony, parents Arnold and Cassie Stigmore noted that while the college had adequate facilities to assist victims

kcinpa: manfeels-park: kcinpa: theavc: Pride And Prejudice 2005 Onion headlines = one totally endearing memeSome of the best memes out there are the ones that make absolutely no sense. Take, for instance, “Pride And Prejudice 2005 Onion Headlines.

theonion: Report: Red Meat Linked To Contentedly Patting Belly WASHINGTON—Saying the effects were almost immediate and largely unavoidable, the National Institute of Food and Agriculture released a report Tuesday linking red meat to contentedly

Dynamite Joe Biden in The Onion

Socialism vs Capitalism - The Onion

theonion: Family Mercifully Pulling Plug On Grandfather Unaware They Sending Him Directly To Hell Having made the difficult but compassionate decision to remove their ailing grandfather from life support Friday, members of the Jarrett family were reporte

theonion: Pope Francis Beats Confession Out Of Uncooperative Catholic VATICAN CITY—Grasping the back of the man’s collar with one hand while pummeling his face with the other, Pope Francis reportedly beat a confession out of an uncooperative Catholic

theonion: Queen Elizabeth Hoping She Dies Before Having To Knight Any DJs “God willing, I’ll pass away long before I’m ever called upon to bestow an honorary knighthood on Calvin Harris or Grooverider,” said the queen, adding that she would rather

theonion: What Is The Alt-Right? Beliefs: Why ruin your day by getting into this? Precursors: Long lineage of conservative philosophers including Hans-Hermann Hoppe, Julius Evola, and “U Mad Bro” 4chan meme Membership: Over 40,000 individuals

theonion:Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’ WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual

theonion:Did You Know?

theonion:LOS ANGELES—Signaling a dramatic shift in public opinion, a new report released Monday by the Entertainment Research Council revealed that more Americans than ever are willing to accept a female Wonder Woman. “Our poll shows that a record

theonion: Little Caesars Marketing New Marshmallows ’N’ Gravy Pizza Directly To President DETROIT—Touting the menu item as perfect for “commander-in-chief-sized cravings,” Little Caesars this week launched an extensive marketing campaign for

theonion:THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan. “It seems like such a fascinating culture,

theonion: PT Boat Sent Up Overgrown, Booby-Trapped Potomac River To Find Deranged John Kelly WASHINGTON—Staring out at the thick, foreboding jungle, a covert military intelligence unit sailed their patrol boat up an overgrown, booby-trapped stretch

theonion:NEW YORK—Saying that even the most upbeat tunes could bring one down under the right conditions, newly single sources told reporters Monday that any song can be sad if it has sad memories attached to it. “Sometimes the songs that used to

theonion:CHICAGO—Worrying that he could be caught off guard anywhere, at any time, area man Dan Moritz on Friday was reportedly afraid some woman might come out of the woodwork to hold him accountable for something. “I’m honestly starting to get

Obama Sinks Family Savings Into Developing Presidential Tabletop Game WASHINGTON—Saying the financial risks and hours of hard work would pay off in the long term, former president Barack Obama revealed Thursday that he has sunk his entire life’s

thewiildbunch:the godfather part i the onion headlines

The…Liberation of Ba Sing Se. Done in the style of those Kelly political cartoons from The Onion. Courtesy of an anonymous DrawFriend.

I never bought the “Onion’s a gem” conspiracy, but you have to admit it WOULD explain a lot. Sort of. In the “I have more questions now but I can’t verbalize them” kind of way.(Submitted by anonymous)

willbinich: yo-its-matt: jonah-dean: maisonderriere: The Onion’s review of Mamma Mia 2 is the only one I need I feel like this is directed at a specific person. I don’t know who but I hope they got the message. It’s directed at Jeremy from

collababortion: kittydoom: salon: We dare you to say we don’t live in a rape culture. Amazingly, not The Onion: “[W]e now have young men telling Bloomberg News that they basically view their female peers as rape bombs just waiting to explode and

starshapes: petehix: chrisdemaraisofficial: transposing: milkti: lidstrom: pyreclaws: masato-indou: whittacker: 39 mega pixel photo of a burger I can see the goddamn cell walls in the onion holy fucking shit wait a sec is that a hair

stop tearing my heartstrings, ONION

the goddamn onion, always starting shit.

do-not-touch-my-food: Baked Bloomin’ Onion

evnw: Tumble giveaway time! Ever reblog will count as a chance to win these fabulous prizes. I will pick a URL at the end of 2015 and ship these gorgeous treasures to you for FREE! Let the games begin :)

lizdexia:The West Wing + The Onion headlines, 1/?

ragingbeard: thescarletrose: the-final-horcrux: azgoths-of-kria: sherlockian-spy: davespritebudgie: fireladyswag: mommaursa: helloimashoutyman: corvusbaby: crazy-: nopeaceofmindinyoursleep: unemauvaisefille: allycadaver: In recent weeks,

so, random and highly unlikely theory, but I was thinking that maybe in “Onion Friend”, Amethyst has been sneaking off to hang out at the Onion house (and those pictures were something she modeled for, rather than the result of someone stalking for)

intindra: Some layout work for “the Good Lars”, which was oddly one my favorite episodes I’ve worked on. I’ve improved since then but I’m still very fond of the layouts I’ve done. Plus I got to do this cute drawing of the Onion family.

Making that gif I noticed that the Onion family has positive/neutral reactions to Peridot pelting people with flowers and this is probably because it’s totally something Onion would do so they find it endearing

bleachproof: tag yourself im sunny edit: some folks told me to add the onion man; ask and you shall receive

askkounoi: [The Onion Ring Challenge, as told from Noiz.] Read More

traiteurr: The X Files + The Onion Headlines pt 3/?

itsjust-insanity: ethiopienne: THE ONION: Media Stumped On How To Handle Missing Mixed-Race Woman WASHINGTON—Struggling to find an appropriate response to a delicate situation, members of the American news media admitted Tuesday that they remained

gerwoman:man the onion does not give a FUCKJust like they didn’t give a fuck when they called Quvenzhane Wallis, a 9 year old, a cunt.

raspberryflavored: How you know when the Onion is actually, legitimately angry about today’s political news.

nerd-marine: bill-11b: frosty-the-snowden: eee-in: cishetwhiteoppressor: When will the madness end!? The studying! The differing opinions! These poor poor college students! Source fucking retards. all of them “wahhh my whiny bullshit activism

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